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Why do men like to propose but have no hand in planning the wedding?

Wow, 52,582 of you have read this.

argument-238529_640Every guy has been there. You’re in an amazing relationship with the woman of your dreams, it’s been a while now and you realise that you want to spend the rest of your life with this person and so you embark on a covert mission to make this proposal magical. First you try and get the ring finger size without getting caught. You steal one of her rings and take it to the jeweller who informs you that it’s a thumb ring. You work up the courage to approach her father (who just happens to be an ex boxer) and ask for permission. You send messages to her friends who need to organise a gathering, disguised as a random night out (there’s always one who is terrible at returning messages on time) and then you pop the question and she says yes. Lots of time and effort has gone into preparing all this and you put your feet up to congratulate yourself on a well executed plan……… Then you realise that you’ve got a wedding to plan.

Note this down ladies, if you’re asking us to make a choice about something that we have no interest in, please be grateful that we made one and stop probing. It doesn’t matter why we picked a colour, you gave a choice and we made one, now let’s move on to the next thing on the list.

Men are always happy to plan stuff as long as it’s at their own pace and they are not having to submit to unrealistic demands from a raging bull. As soon as the ring goes on a ladies finger we notice the change that takes place. It’s all very relaxed at first, “We don’t have to rush into the wedding” “We’re going to have so much fun planning the wedding” “I won’t be a bridezilla” and so on and so forth. A few weeks go by and one of the friends asks the lady what date the wedding will occur on and that’s when the nightmare begins. An insane amount of pressure is put on us from then on. “Why did you ask me to marry you if you’re not serious about planning a wedding?”

As usual I did my rounds and spoke to men who were either married, recently engaged, recently married or about to tie the knot. They all universally agreed that once the proposal had occurred, a different side to a woman came out. They suddenly went from being your easy going girlfriend to the wedding obsessed psycho who wants everything done now and she doesn’t care how it’s done. The men are dragged through many things that they have no say about such as flower arrangements, bridesmaid dresses and so on and so forth. You get asked your opinion tons of times and it feels like an interrogation. A familiar scenario is this, “Which flowers do you like, the red or the white?” to which we respond with a colour and then get asked, “Why do you prefer that colour?” Note this down ladies, if you’re asking us to make a choice about something that we have no interest in, please be grateful that we made one and stop probing. It doesn’t matter why we picked a colour, you gave a choice and we made one, now let’s move on to the next thing on the list.

The other reasons that men don’t enjoy wedding planning is the cost and the sidelining. Of course it is a day that hopefully only occurs once in a lifetime but the need to make it perfect is beyond abnormal in the eyes of a man. We want you to have the best day ever but we also want you to remember that it’s not just about you. There are two people normally involved in the day and it’s supposed to be a celebration of your happiness as a couple. The cost of a wedding has spiraled out of control and so every time a recommendation is made we are all wincing (groom, father of the bride and grooms father). Gone are the days when a wedding could be paid for by one person and it is now a joint effort. It puts a strain on a lot of people including the lady who does her share of the saving whilst worrying about the day itself.

Men are always happy to plan stuff as long as it’s at their own pace and they are not having to submit to unrealistic demands from a raging bull.

The men asked all had this to say, “What happens to a woman once you place the ring on her?” The transformation is slow and swift at the same time but it is scary and makes wedding planning very unpleasant and daunting. Just for the record this isn’t a reflection of every woman out there, neither is it a reflection of the way my girlfriend behaves (You, of course are perfect in every way, let’s see how you react when the day comes). For any brides to be who are reading this, I hope you have a wonderful wedding, please enjoy planning it also. It will all be fine on the day.

The Break Up Recipe. It’s a romantic comedy about break ups and relationships from a mans point of view, available on Amazon as a download or paperback.

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