Decide how you want to show up
When we’ve just met someone or spent some time with them, it’s very easy to describe what we think and what we feel about someone else and how they ‘were’.
We get a feeling about them, what we experienced being with them, and what we noticed about how they made us feel. It’s easy to then say “Oh, yes, I met her, she was very friendly/ interesting/ dull/ fun/ stand-offish/ helpful/ savvy/ glamorous/ unfriendly/ smart.” You get the idea. People pick up a sense of you quickly, how you come across, how you put yourself across, how you project yourself, or if you project yourself, to them.
Really consider and plan how you want to ‘be’ and how you want to be seen as you take part.
The question to ask yourself is “Do I come across in a way that makes the other person feel comfortable as well and in a way that works for me too?”
Before you go to your next client meeting, your next networking event, your next social gathering, really consider and plan how you want to ‘be’ and how you want to be seen as you take part. Give yourself the benefit of asking yourself this powerful, and confronting question:
“What do I want people to say about me after I’ve left the room?”
Ask yourself “when I leave the room after a meeting, what do I want the people still in the room to say about me?” Jot down your thoughts at least 5 points.
Then, if you really want to get clearer and more useful input for where you are at the moment, ask 5 other people. It’s good to ask people from different areas in your life – family, friends and of course colleagues, past and present.
Pose them the question “when I leave the room, what do you think people say about me and the sort of person I am?” Clients often do this via email to make it easy. Tell your 5 people it will really help you and then capture what they say and compare it with what you’ve said yourself.
5 things I guarantee you:
- You’ll be surprised
- You’ll learn something about yourself
- You’ll have some different expressions/language to use
- You’ll tell the person you ask you value their opinion
- You’ll be able to describe yourself with more confidence and ease.
It’s a challenging question to ask yourself and one that will give you a helpful set of clues for how you decide to ‘be’ if you decide to really show up. You must stay open though, and listen.
Right, I’m leaving the room now….