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Valentines day part 2

Wow, 6,258 of you have read this.
garden-rose-320623_640Valentines day for men is a day that ensures panic.

Last year I walked past my local florist at lunch time and it was full of men getting a last minute bunch of flowers ordered. I walked past it again in the evening and it was full of men buying last minute flowers to take home. They were all paying over the odds for a few colourful plants and it genuinely looked like day one of the January sales. I spoke to the florist after who said that it was something that happened every year and she always found that she had to replenish her stock for the evening. She mentioned that there was one year when a fight broke out over the last rose!

Similarly to last week I met two groups of men to discuss how they felt about February 14th. The first group were all for Valentine’s day whilst the second group were very anti. It was fascinating to hear the different opinions and it was also interesting to see how many opinions there are on the day. Our group got bigger and bigger as people walking past joined in on the discussion.

Some of these guys were unlucky in love and didn’t like being made to feel like they weren’t worthy. They felt like they were assaulted by adverts of flowers, chocolate, perfume and Fifty shades and just wanted the whole thing to stop so that they could get back to normal life.

The group that liked the special day liked it for varying reasons. Some liked the challenge of spending weeks organising a nice evening for their Mrs and succeeding. They saw it as a task to be performed to the best of their ability and a grateful smile was worth the effort. Another guy said that it was the second time in the year that he got physical with his wife (his birthday being the other occasion) and another mentioned that it was a special occasion that featured many activities that I sadly cannot repeat on this page. A very nice fellow mentioned that he liked the day because it allowed him to bring out his inner romantic and do something really nice for his lady who he was grateful to have.

There were the singletons who lived for the day as they said that the bars and clubs presented them with plenty of opportunities to meet women. Some of those men were interested in potentially meeting the one whilst some of them saw it as an opportunity to find a conquest. One guy got out his scorecard which went into great detail on the odds of meeting a woman on a night out. The thing looked like something from a casino or betting shop, It was full of algorithms and odds. We were all blown away and there was a good half an hour dedicated to speaking about this thing, which charted the best nights to meet women and the odds of succeeding depending on location. He agreed to let me share a picture of it but then wrote in at the last minute asking me not to disclose it (If only I’d written the article a day earlier you would have seen it)

Valentines day for men is a day that ensures panic.

The gentlemen who despise the day felt that it brought an unwanted pressure to their relationship. Some of them weren’t the worlds biggest romantics and so didn’t wish to conform to the hype and actually do something out of character for them. Another guy mentioned that it always cost him too much money and it didn’t help that it occurred mid month. He said he’d tried to get his employer to pay him earlier, similar to Christmas time but his request was rejected.

The single guys that had a problem with Valentine’s day were very cynical. They felt that it was a big con and the only people that benefited from it were retailers and materialistic women (their words not mine). Some of these guys were unlucky in love and didn’t like being made to feel like they weren’t worthy. They felt like they were assaulted by adverts of flowers, chocolate, perfume and Fifty shades and just wanted the whole thing to stop so that they could get back to normal life.

How I feel about the day is mixed. The intention behind the day is to do something nice for someone, so I cannot fault it for bringing a smile to peoples faces. The monetising of it makes it very unappealing and places an unnecessary burden on many people. It’s a special day for all couples in one way or another for good or bad reasons and I hope you enjoy yours regardless of whether you choose to celebrate or abstain. I’m not doing anything for it this year as I’m marrying my girlfriend the week after and on that note I’m off to the tailor.

Munir Bello is the author of The Break Up Recipe. It’s a romantic comedy about break ups and relationships from a mans point of view, available on Amazon as a download or paperback.

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