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How to cope with Mother’s Day without Mum

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For those who have recently lost their mother or are still struggling with bereavement, Mother’s Day can be a challenging time of year as it feels like the whole world is celebrating and there are wall-to-wall displays of Mother’s Day cards and gifts in the shops which bombard the senses no sooner than Valentine’s Day is over.

By celebrating her life you can shift your focus from the negative sense of loss to the positive sense of honouring her memory.

It can be especially difficult if your partner is close to their mother and wants you to celebrate Mother’s Day with their family. This might create conflict or a sense of guilt that you are not doing what you perceive to be the thing you should do. It is important to let go of these unhelpful emotions and change the meaning you have created about Mother’s Day so that you can get through the days leading up to it being compassionate to yourself and focus on doing something positive on the day itself to keep you moving forward in your life as constant progression is fundamental to living a contented happy life.

Here are five top tips to help you deal with Mother’s Day when your mum is no longer here.

1. Use the day in a positive way to remember your mother and her achievements in life. By celebrating her life you can shift your focus from the negative sense of loss to the positive sense of honouring her memory. A great way to do this is to connect with those who knew your mother and share stories about your favourite memories of her.

2. Wear something that reminds you of your mother like a piece of jewellery or an item of clothing so that you can carry her with you on Mother’s Day wherever you may be. It also helps to associate comforting and loving memories to the item so that every time you touch it or look at it, you shift your psychology and physiology towards a more positive state.

3. If you are spiritual, light a candle and meditate on your mother’s memory. Close your eyes and breathe deeply as you call to mind positive images of your mother and remember joyful experiences of special moments you shared. Doing this will flood your mind with happy memories which will counteract any negative emotions and help manage feelings of loss or sadness.

4. Another example of something tangible you can do on Mother’s Day is to release a sky lantern or a helium balloon in honour of your mother. You can do this on your own in quiet contemplation or get together friends and loved ones to release several lanterns or balloons creating an impressive visual effect that you can enjoy.

By celebrating her life you can shift your focus from the negative sense of loss to the positive sense of honouring her memory.

5. Make a donation on Mother’s Day to a bereavement charity like Cruse which supports people after the death of a loved one or someone close to them. Alternatively volunteer or donate to a charity or worthwhile cause that was important to your mother or is meaningful to you such as a cancer charity. This will satisfy your need for Contribution which is a higher need that gives you a sense of purpose in life but is one which often gets neglected during difficult times.

Author Bio

Written by Celebrity Life Coach and Relationship Expert Sloan Sheridan-Williams. Visit sloansw.com for more information or call 07462 611 411 for a free 20 minute telephone consultation.

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