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Why do men much older than me contact me online?

Wow, 27,032 of you have read this.
So, I went on dates with quite a few men last week ladies and I did it for you. Yes, my girlfriend approved and nope, we are not in an open relationship, neither do I swing both ways.

I did it to get some answers to a question that almost every single lady looking for love online has asked me which is, ‘Why do all these old men keep getting in touch with me?’ It was very hard to get the older gentleman to speak openly to me about their preference for younger ladies so I had to go about it in an underhanded manner. I went back online as a lady (28 years old, very good looking).

It didn’t take long for the messages to flood in. I went downstairs to the shop 5 minutes down the road (to get some milk since you ask) and when I got back I had 17 messages in my inbox, 12 of which were from men who were 55 years and older. I responded and made my identity known (man looking to research men of a certain age for an article) some declined my invitation to speak further on the matter and a surprising amount said yes on the condition that I paid for the meal and that their identities were protected. I was thinking of leading them on and carrying on the pretence only to surprise them when we met but didn’t want to risk a punch to the face as I kind of like mine.

The ladies I spoke to couldn’t quite understand why these men were talking to them as they said that if it was a real life situation, these men would probably not have the confidence to approach them. Some of the ladies believed that these men were sleazy as they were old enough to be their fathers and in some cases, grandfathers. All the ladies did agree that their virtual method of approach was better than some of their younger counterparts as the men did write to them in full sentences.

Onto the dates and I must admit I was quite looking forward to finding out what these chaps had to say for themselves. Most of the guys I met were very pleasant, there was of course the odd bad apple but majority of them did mean well. The first person I spoke to said that he preferred younger women because of the way that they looked and that he was also looking to have children. He also said that although he was old on the outside he still felt young at heart and he found the older woman boring and unadventurous (we disagreed on this point).

Some of the men did admit that their reason for speaking with the younger woman was driven by lust, something I expected to hear. They weren’t looking for anything serious as they had just come out of long marriages and just wanted to have a pretty girl on their arm whom they could now afford to spoil as when they were younger they didn’t have the same earning power they do now. There were also those who admitted that they were playing a numbers game, which meant that there was at least someone that would respond to their advances.

Most of the unmarried men of that age that I spoke to said that they had a genuine desire to get married and start a family and so a younger woman did seem the natural option for their goals.

I did ask all the men I met whether they would openly approach a woman who was 30 years younger if they saw her in a public place. There were some who did say that they would as they were confident enough to do so and experienced enough to not care about knock-backs. Some did say that they were unlikely to approach a younger woman in a public place but in the comfort of their own home and behind a keyboard they felt brave enough to at least try.

Most of the unmarried men of that age that I spoke to said that they had a genuine desire to get married and start a family and so a younger woman did seem the natural option for their goals. These were men who had never married or had children for various reasons and they detested the fact that they were seen as sleazy men who were going through a mid life crisis. I did have fun with one guy who was going through a mid life crisis. He insisted that we go crazy on Jaeger bombs and then go clubbing. He did approach the younger women in the clubs and got a number, we parted ways at 4 in the morning (I was shattered and he wanted to keep going)

Overall I think that the older guys are just like the younger guys, you get some good ones and you get a few bad apples. These guys all had plenty to say for themselves and were mostly good company. I personally wouldn’t approach girls 30 years younger than I am (1 year olds) neither would I approach a girl who was more than 5 years younger than I am as I think that they’re too young for me but each to their own. Well ladies, I hope this sheds some light on why some of these older guys are hitting on you, take it as a compliment and let them down gently if they’re not your cup of tea. Some of the responses these men received were very unkind.

Munir Bello is the author of The Break Up Recipe. It’s a 5 star rated romantic comedy about break ups and relationships from a mans point of view, available on Amazon as a download or paperback.

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